The Ice queens
by Kyrte
Summary: It's the women who understand the pain... How the events of LOTR affect the Lives of three ladies Eowyn, Arwen and Galadriel. Now it's Arwen's turn.
1. 1: The Snow white lady

**Disclaimer:** Lord of the rings and all associated characters, locations e.t.c are the property of the Tolkien estate. I am only borrowing them so please don't sue! The lyrics are by Within Temptation and are called Hand of Sorrow. I don't own them either.

**A/N:** This story is in Eowyn's point of view and is set between the battle of Helm's Deep and the mustering of the Rohirrim. Now that's sorted we can get to the story, so enjoy!

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**Hand of sorrow**

I bite back the tears that his simple words brought. Tilting my head back to stop them from falling I look at the cloudless sky and try to discreetly shake the terrible voice from my mind. Of all the people who once dwelt here how could he be the one who saw so clearly? The ice had twisted itself around my heart and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Then to my surprise I slowly began to realise I didn't want to.

The long years of watching my brother gain so easily what I had to fight for everyday had taken it's toll. While he was out slaying orcs and saving our country I was forced into the slavery of caring for uncle and waiting for him to return. My being was killed through those years, I know everyone sees it. He can't understand what has happened to me since he returned, the child he used to protect had died and this cold creature has taken her form. A creature incapable of hope.

_**The child without a name grew up to be the hand  
To watch you, to shield you or kill on demand  
The choice he'd made he could not comprehend  
His blood a grim secret they had to command**_

All the people of Rohan seem to think a woman should be nothing more than a servant to keep a home and bear sons to the men. The mocking smiles as I practiced everyday with my sword infuriated me. How dare they assume that I should remain prone! If I had been born a man I should be a great warrior and they would not think I was unworthy to fight.

_**He's torn between his honour and the true love of his life  
He prayed for both but was denied **_

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed  
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?  
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?  
Will all our sins be justified? 

I may not be a man, but I can be a shield maiden. I can fight. **I will fight.** It is as he said; I am a daughter of kings, a shield maiden of Rohan. I will not be caged. The ice creeps into my eyes and hardens my heart for what must be done. Gondor now lies in my destiny whether I would wish it or not. I will ride there and seek my fate. To gain glory, or honourable death, it no longer matters to me.

_**Please forgive me for the sorrow, for leaving you in fear  
For the dreams we had to silence, that's all they'll ever be  
Still I'll be the hand that serves you  
Though you'll not see that it is me**_

I am a Shieldmaiden of Rohan.

I am the Snow white lady.

I am Eowyn.

_**  
So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed  
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?  
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?  
Will all our sins be justified?**_

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Please Review!


	2. The Lonely Queen

**Disclaimer:**** Lord of the Rings and all affiliated works are the property of the Tolkien estate. The lyrics for Somewhere are the property of Within Temptation. I own neither and no copyright infringement is intended. This is not for profit and the characters shall be returned unharmed. **

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"_It was a gift." I reply, pushing my beloved Evenstar into his hand. My eyes find his.  
_"_Keep it."_

I am the Evenstar of the Elves, the Lady Arwen Undómiel. A child of privilege, honour and nobility from the moment I was born all those centuries ago. I spent my childhood in blissful ignorance of the shadow spreading across middle earth. Perhaps my father had told the servants and people of Imladris to never speak of the troubles of men in my presence; clearly he was determined that such…_fleeting_…times should not sully my supposed purity. All of the Eldar had put me upon a pedestal and no-one could hear me screaming. I wanted…no needed for someone to look at me as Arwen; not as the Evenstar. My heart yearned for someone to just once look at me as something other than a symbol of hope for our people.  
Then there was him.

**Lost in the darkness  
****Hoping for a sign  
****Instead there's only silence  
****Can't you hear my screams?**

**Never stop hoping  
****Means you know where you are  
****Now one thing's for sure  
****You're always in my heart**

One cold winters day my brothers came galloping into Imladris with a wounded mortal in their arms. Father was in a council meeting so as usual I was summoned to treat the poor man as best I could. He was raving in his fever so I took his hand and willed some of my supposed grace to soothe him. His eyes shot open and my heart stopped in that moment.  
"Arwen."  
"Estel."  
My first friend. Even when I was barely a century and he was about seven we were inseparable. We would play in the orchards and woods around Imladris till twilight fell. In the summer the pair of us would swim in the rivers and streams that gave Rivendell it's name. I was happier than I had ever been but Ada was furious. Maybe he saw what we did not at our young age. We had fallen in love.  
I think that's why he forbade you to return until you had proven yourself to him. In his eyes only a king of men would ever be a suitable husband for his daughter. I wanted to leave Imladris with you that day and never look back but I had to do my duty as the Evenstar one last time before it's light left me. My people needed hope and I was the only one who could give it to them. Each night I wondered where you were, fear clouded my judgement and I almost left for the undying lands…please forgive me.

**Lost in the darkness  
****Trying to find your way home  
****I want to embrace you  
****And never let you go**

**Almost have you in heaven  
****So no-one can hurt you so  
****Living in agony cos' I just do not know  
****where you are**

"_That future is gone."  
_"_But it is not lost."_

I thank the Valar that I did not submit to fear, instead I returned to Imladris as Arwen Queen of Men. Though we were apart I felt you near me as the light of the Elves left me as a mortal. Yet I was not afraid. You taught me to fight for what I believe in; for Frodo, for Middle Earth, for us. To give up my eternity is such a small price for such overwhelming happiness that our union will bring. It will happen, I am sure. I have seen our son.

I was born as Arwen Undómiel, Evenstar of the Elves

I will die as Queen Arwen of Gondor.

**Wherever you are  
****I won't stop searching  
****Whatever it takes me to go**

**I'll find you somewhere  
****I'll keep on trying****  
Until my dying day**

**I just need to know  
****Whatever has happened  
****The truth will free my soul**


End file.
